


HILLS OF YOU

by libra_sun



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, Bonding, Brotherly Love, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, ITS JUST ME EXPRESING ALL MY ADAM PARSIH FEELS, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-28 13:54:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19813666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/libra_sun/pseuds/libra_sun
Summary: Adam was briefly a Parrish until he became someone else.Ronan didn't had to deal with dead but with something almost as worse.Gansey can't quite understand where he fits in this world but knows there is somewhere he belongs





	HILLS OF YOU

When Adam Parrish was 8, he stepped foot inside a place that would create a timeline for him that if there were alternative Adams in the multiverse in their nights of longing and high hopes, they would never imagine a situation like that happening to someone like him.If there were individual Adams spread in the universe — when they closed their eyes and hoped, for a better future, for a way to get out, to find strength somewhere to walk, to breath, to blink it was alwayds hope for after. In the head of all the Adams in the universe, they always began in the same place, was always damaged in the same way he is now and he wasn’t able to leave until he was big enough, until he could do it on his own terms.

However, this Adam, our Adam - he didn’t have to wait. When he was 8 one could say he was ‘saved’, but this is not the term you would say when taking about someone like Adam. When Adam Parrish was 7 someone did right by him. Someone stood in front of him, and all Adam could see was long legs and a big back, but to whom and where the face of this man was facing was the most important thing. The big change happened a year later - to him, it wasn't quite clear where he was going or who were these people taking him or why he was leaving the other kids, not that the cared for them anyway, but through all his worries and questions he remembered the nurse's words. He was going to be "alright and happy". He closed his eyes and asked himself _"where are you?"_

It wasn’t until he was 10 that he realised he wasn’t going anywhere else ever or that he would not get hit no matter how hard he tried - not that he tried much, that lingering fear was always there, the fear that one day they may snap. Adam fully understood that there was not gonna be a night where he had to starve, that it was fine to ask for seconds, that he didn't need to store food under his bed in case things went south. At 10, Adam overcame the first of many internal small battles. 

By the time Adam was 12, he had a somewhat full understanding of what had happened to him and where he was. It took him a little longer to accept that he wasn’t a charity case or a burden. That none of the things given to him or the situation he was in had come from a place of pity. He understood then that this was it for the long haul. 

It took him a while to understand that it was all because of love. It was such a foreign concept to him. But slowly he started seeing it in the way they all interacted with each other and as he grew up he found it their interactions with him too. 

At night he tough of the way Mr. Gansey helped him will all his inventions and let Adam tell him his ideas and talked it through with him. In the way Miss Gansey came to see him every night before bed or how she was always there when he woke up from his nightmares.He thought of how Hellen rough him up a little but always gave him a kiss afterwards or how she always asked about the books he wanted to read and they somehow always appeared somewhere in the house as if they’ve already been there. 

He understood now that it was in the way a puppy had appeared hours after he arrived at the manor. At the time Adam was just happy, internally so. But now he understands. A new puppy meant all the attention wasn’t on Adam. At the time he was just grateful when someone came to visit and saw Adam but immediately got distracted by the puppy. Now he knows the reason behind it all was that they have loved him from the start - even when he couldn't love himself. 

By then he knew that not only they loved him, but that he loved them back as well. It was the way that without a second doubt Adam defended Ganseywhenever someone was mean to him and didn’t even think if hurting other kids made him a monster because Gansey came first. 

He understood then that this was it. Family. How it looked like. How it felt like. That it was his. It was then when he stopped being a Parrish in every way possible. It wasn't who he was anymore and it wasn't who he was going to become.

When Adam was 15 Gansey left and Adam experienced his first heartbreak. In Adam’s head, Gansey belonged to the world, it was as if he had a forest growing inside of him and magic running through his veins. Gansey was always evolving, always changing, and every day he took a step closer to where he really belonged - so it was just a matter of time before he went back to the wild. Gansey spent two years leaping from place to place searching for something no one at home was quite sure of but that everyone indulged him in. Until one day he finally came home. 

The term coming home would be somewhat a hyperbole. What really happened was Gansey wasn’t exactly home but close enough for Adam to be able to breathe properly again. Henrietta. That’s where Gansey was, to Adam it meant that he could come home and go as we wished. This is the closets they have been geographically in years and to be honest, Adam expected Gansey to come home more often than not but of course, this is not how it happened. 


End file.
